by Virginia Zaccheco

Napoli – there is no place quite like her.  Enter at your own risk.  And do not look long into her dark sultry eyes least they lure you in a Dantesque fantasy of Paradiso and Inferno.  Her Bellezza intoxicates, her Storia fascinates, her Persona amuses, and her Cucina swallows sinfully.  But beware, she is fickle and screams with contrasts and contradictions.  Still, go.  Risk her shadowy flirtations; carouse with her spirited playmates, toast her vino and limocello, devour her Baba` and Bufala Mozzarella, and behold her Bella Vistas. Lie back, close your eyes, let her soft whispers enrapture and immerse yourself as one in her enchanting embrace.  And don’t be surprised when in your dream you too find yourself saying, ”Aahh, Vedi Napoli e poi muori”– See Naples and die.

Of course there are those who take that saying literally, especially those cognizant of the crime statistics of her Camorra (Napolitan Mafia), Scippatori (vespa-riding purse snatchers), and Sscugnizzi (juvenile thieves) who steal your license plate at one traffic light and sell it back to you at the next.  But Stai Calmo (calm done) she is working hard to improve her city and make it a safer place for vacationers and residents alike.  Of course, it is always a good idea to Stai Attento!  (Be careful).

Whenever I think of Napoli I smile.  For the past eleven years I have landed at the Campodicino airport and taken a taxi to Porto Molo Bevellelo.  Not once have I ever been driven the same way twice and each time the driver brags, “I know a short cut that nobody else knows.”  It has always cost me the same except for the time I made the big mistake of telling my driver, Mario Andretti-Knievel, “Ho fretta” (I’m in a hurry).  For that ride, I thought my last, I paid double – voluntarily.

Much has been written about the unique Neapolitan personalita` by travel writers and novelists; I’ve found her autista di tassi (taxi driver) to be the most knowledgeable and imaginative.  Not only do they have their fingers on the pulse of the city but they’re masters at getting their foot-in-every tourist’s door.  They’re most likely the inspiration for this Neapolitan proverb, “Se non e` vero, e` ben trovato” (Even if it’s not true, it’s well invented).  Upon exiting the taxi at the port, my driver insisted on kissing my hand good-bye whereupon he slipped six business cards into my palm.  Each card had his name and phone number on the first two lines and a different profession on the third: personal chauffeur, personal tour guide, personal escort, personal Italian teacher, personal English teacher, and personal cook.  Napoli is full of those kinds of moments.

And it’s full of those kinds of charismatic characters. In fact, Neapolitans take pride in distinguishing themselves from their Sofistichati Northern and Smorti (lack-luster) Southern cousins’ seriamente, (very seriously).  So, it’s not a good idea to ask, “Are you Italian?” because you’ll likely receive an indignant, “No, sono Napulitane!” (No, I’m Neapolitan).  And unless you want to risk a full blown Napulitane embarrassment replete with Malocchio curses, hand-waving profanities run amuck and blushing insults, resist the urge to call their Napulitane language a dialetto (dialect). I know what it says in the “How to Speak Italian” books, but believe me, they do not know the hot-blooded Napulitani.

Some Northern Italians have secretly admitted that they visit Naples because it is the only place left in Italy where they can find La Vecchia Via – the Old Ways.  And while Northern cities are busy implementing modern technologies at a rat-race pace, the Napulitani wake to start their day piano piano (slow and unrushed).  A stop at the café for un espresso, maybe two with a sfogliatella (heavenly pastry) and perhaps a little chiacchiera (talk) about the horrid trash problem or corrupt politicians, or even better – Il Calcio (soccer).  Then it’s off to work until the next coffee/cigarette break.   Il Pranzo (lunch) begins at noon and lasts for four hours, including and even encouraging a sonnellino (nap).  Of course not all Napulitani live by this grueling schedule; many of them work hard and long hours stopping only an hour or two for lunch.  In fact, Napoli is far quieter at 2:30pm in the afternoon than it is at 2:30am.  One may ask, “How can they make any money?”  But the Napulitani are masters at Arrangiarsi (the art of getting by) and are contented to live the lifestyle of the “Dolce Far Niente” (The Sweetness of Doing Nothing) and make no apologies for it.

If you want to understand the nature of the Napulitane better it’s a good idea to watch some old classics films like, “Ciao Professore,” “It Happened in Naples,” “L’Oro di Napoli,” “Marriage, Italian Style,” “Amici Miei,” “The Secret of Santa Vittoria,” and any of Toto’s films which are silly but timelessly Napulitane.  And if you want to hear what the Napulitane soul sounds like, listen to songs like: “Caruso,” “Mamma,” “Male Femmina,” “Anema e Cuore,” “Turna a Surriento,” “Peppino,” “O Solo Mio,” “La Bella Luna,” “O Surdat Innamurrate.”

A survey taken recently stated that 4/5 of the Neapolitans questioned said they would not want to live anywhere else.  They feel they live in the most beautiful place on earth, cook and eat the best foods, grow and drink the best wine, believe in the one ‘true’ faith, live wisely, love passionately, create the most artistically, are the closest-knit families and rated themselves the most virile and voluptuous men and women in the world.  No wonder why my Napulitane friend was confused after our conversation; “Why do you come here every year?” he asked.  “Because I love Naples,” I said.  “Well, he asked, why not move here then?”  “Well, I answered, because I love America too.”  “More than here?” he said incredulously.

Over the centuries a lot of people have loved her enough to move.  Napoli lies in the Regione di Campania, the shin-splint area on Italy’s boot.  Around 750BC the Greeks settled the coastal town of Cumae, where the high priestess Sibyl presided over the destinies of men and Virgil wrote parts of his epic The Aeneid.  Nearby, floating on a mass of pot-holed molten lava lies the Campi Flegrei’ (burning fields) where Hercules is said to have defeated the Titans and Dante was inspired to write his Inferno.

The towns Cumae, Lago d’Averno, Baia and Pozzuoli were used as a Roman paradise and playground during the reign of the Caesars.  Julius, Tiberius, Hadrian, and Nero built elaborate summer villas there.  Cleopatra was at hers when Julius was murdered, and the villa Claudius built for his third wife Messalina also accommodated his fourth wife Aggripina when her son Nero had her murdered.  Today only their ruins and gossip linger.

In 61AD Saint Paul visited Pozzuoli and contrary to what the front story on The Enquirer’s says, came to spread the good news of the Gospel and not to find its most famous daughter Sophia Loren.  The Anfiteatro Flavio (Flavian Amphitheater) is not as impressive as Rome’s Coliseum above ground, but the galleries and cages beneath are well preserved.  Napoli’s patron martyr San Gennaro was thrown into the arena to be eaten by wild beasts but they licked their toes instead of him.

Throughout the ages Napoli has been conquered by the Byzantines, Lombards, Normans, Hohenstaufens, French, Aragonese, Spanish, Bourbons and Australians.  They have all left their indelible imprint in the form of museums, universities, castles, churches, catacombs, theaters, and palaces and in an astonishing array of architectural styles ranging from Roman, Gothic, Renaissance, Baroque, Rococo and Neo-classical.  Nowhere can the collection of these striking conglomerations be better seen than in the Spaccanapoli – the oldest historical area of Napoli.  The name ‘spacca’ – means ‘split’ though many like to say ‘scappaNapoli’ which means ‘escape’ Napoli.

The Spaccanapoli is the nucleus of Napoli’s essence. It’s not a place for the delicate or faint-hearted; one needs to have fervent adventure-seeking cogioni’s.  Forests of tall old grey flaking buildings loom overhead budding with branch upon branch of hanging laundry. Is there even enough oxygen to dry them? The Napulitani do not stay in behind the closed doors of their homes.  The dark narrow streets are jammed packed with locals and tourists moving about frenetically at maddening decibels.  Throngs of tiny tight-packed artisan shops display crafts of gold, silver, copper, iron, wood, silk, sea shell, gems, crèche, and canvas – a nirvana of one-of-a-kinds.  Fourth and fifth generation shopkeepers paint figurines painstakingly using the molds of their great, great, great-grandfather’s.  One street flaunts more than one hundred Presepe (Christ’s Manger) stores where whole villages are recreated. For over three hundred years there have been contests around Christmas to see who can make the best one.

This is an excerpt from my journal the first time I visited. “It’s scary to enter but I’m drawn to it.  The noise is maddening, the confusion dizzying, the shuffling about – unnerving.  Vespas whiz by driven by madmen and children not able to reach the handles.  They cut in front and nudge my back – where are their manners?  It feels insane -do I turn and run?  Gosh, so many extraordinary shops. Someone smiles, he sees my fear, he knows the look, it’s not his first time. I half smile back but am too preoccupied tracking the intoxicating fragrances of garlic, basil, pizza.  Ah, there, the window shows them off like jewelry.  I want the one with prosciutto.  He yells, “Questo post e` pazz, e`” (This place is crazy, eh?).  I nod “Si`” (yes), and murmur “E` pazzo megliviouso”- (It’s  crazy wonderful).”

The Spaccanapoli can be a tad over-whelming for first time goers.  Play it safe, go in the morning and leave after lunch.  For sure there is an unforgettable memory waiting for you.  And if shopping isn’t your thing, there are many notable churches to visit.  Some contain priceless treasures and have been turned into museums.  A few of the more famous ones are: the Church of Santa Chiara, the Church of Gesu` Nuovo, the Duomo di San Gennaro where the Festa di San Gennaro (the miracle of the liquefaction of his blood) is celebrated every September and December, the Cappella Sansevero, and the Church of Pio Monte della Misericordia which houses the greatest painting in Naples – Caravaggio’s Seven Acts of Mercy.

Traveling around centro Napoli is just a larger more spread out modern version than the Spaccanapoli but there are some must sees like: Galleria Umberto, Palazzo Reale, Castel Nuovo, Teatro San Carlo, Museo di Capodimonte,  Castel dell’Ovo, Certosa di San Martino and the Sotterranea (the cavernous honey-combed underground of Napoli), and the many beautiful Piazzas and Pallazzos that grace the city.  But don’t forget, Napoli’s greatest tourist attraction is her people – interact with them. Just watching them is entertainment.

The most often asked question by the friends and family of a returning vacationer is, “How was the food?”  And the Spaccanapoli, as well as all of Napoli, does not disappoint.  In fact, the smells and tastes will return to haunt your dreams and you will awaken to find yourself booking airline tickets at the computer.  But if you’re looking for something more than pizza (how could you – they have the best in the world) there are outstanding titillating palatial delicacies everywhere like: breads, pastry, gelato, chocolate, espresso, pastas, soups, cold cuts, seafood dishes or the sacred food of the Gods – Bufala Mozzarella.  Non Dimentica, si mangia bene in Napoli, (Don’t forget, one eats well in Napoli).

If you have a passion for archaeology, geology or volcanology hop on a train, bus or car (wear comfortable shoes) and see Vesuvius, Hercullaneum and Pompeii.  Vesuvius is a safe and easy climb.  It lost a third of its size when it erupted in 79AD and its lower slopes hold the distinction of being the most densely inhabited in the world.  Some residents have rebuilt their homes seven times and many of the businesses’ names begin with Carpe Diem.

Vesuvius deserves a big thank you for preserving Pompeii and Herculaneum – over 2 ½ million people visit there each year.  Pompeii, the larger, was another decadent playground for the party-loving Romans.  Brothels, public baths, villas, food stalls and bars line the streets.  Graffiti at one villa reads, “May I always and everywhere be as potent with women as I was here.” Herculaneum, the smaller is better preserved and was a living community of wealthy inhabitants.  Both towns buried their pasts in ash but their frescoes reveal how little man has changed over the years.

The three islands in the Bay of Napoli – Capri, Procida and Ischia are all enchanting and majestic.  Capri has the highest cliffs and prices and natural wonders like the Grotta Azzurra, Faraglioni, Arco Naturale, and the ruins of Tiberius’s 12 villas and palace.  It’s the chic international getaway for rich and famous jet-setters and wannabe jet-setters.

Procida, where my favorite actor Massimo Troisi made, “Il Postino,” (and died the day after its completion), is relaxing, charming and friendly.  The Corricella marina graces the port area and they are well-known for their Good Friday Procession at Easter.

Ischia, “Aahh, Si mangia, si beve, si fischia” (One eats, drinks and whistles).  It is hard to say Ischia without saying Bella after it.  The largest of the three islands boasts beautiful beaches, luxurious thermal spas and stunning backdrops. One must be very careful visiting these islands. The warmth and beauty of their people, island, food and Dolce Vita can ruin you for life.  Don’t go!  They are a far harder habit to kick than any substance.

From Sorrento to Almafi one can expect to see sights that will make them weep.  Learn another word other than “Wow” or “Oh my God” – you might irritate the people around you.  There is but one coastal road that takes you in and out; if you are not used to hair-pin turns, railingless roads or traffic jams that back up around sharp corners do not go by car – take the bus.  The Almafi coast has all the usual stupendous views, romantic mandolins chiming in the wind, pleasant people and scrumptious food and wines, but what makes this place so truly unforgettable is its piggyback cliffhanging gravity defying architecture.  It has to be seen to be believed.  And it has to be walked too, up and down steps, thousands of them – but it’s worth it.

And so too is Napoli worth it.  Surrender.  Let her seduce you.